odd button: it should be called dangerball

so yesterday was the perfect day. i was happily bombarded with facebook messages, texts, emails, blackberry messages and phone calls from friends and loved ones. i bought gluten free muffins as a treat for my breakfast from wholefoods where i think a very handsome worker there cracked a joke in my general direction. my birthday addled mind had him blowing kisses at me behind my back and yelling at himself all day for not getting my digits. i'll call this birthday delusion disorder. the muffin was paired with a very large, sugary and caffeine filled frappaccino thingy from starbucks (thanks karen!) which is not my normal order, but that was the point after all. no more repeats...or at least continuous repeats...well you get my meaning. even though the starbucks guy was kind of a dick i laughed it off and was like whatevs dude i'm 30 now and don't care about petty shit. even though i am pretty sure that is just going to be a passing thing.

my co-workers then treated me to a delicious lunch of hot doug's. i tried the cranberry and shiraz wild boar sausage with sweet curry mustard and grand canaria cheese. at first i was worried that the boar would taste gamey, but the internet, which i consulted before ordering, told me that it did not taste gamey and instead like a lean pork crossed with beef. those internets tell the truth and i thought i might have died and gone to gastronomic heaven.

we also, dear readers, continued the d & d game (you read that right...it wasn't my idea, but it was too intriguing a prospect to learn about what my brother played for so many years of his youth) which my co-workers and i started last week. we haven't gotten very far as no one wants to be dm or dungeon master. that would mean he or she can not play but must run the game. but it seems interesting enough a game to learn about and, if anything, it's really amusing to watch grace and gene discuss whether the treasure will be hidden with the npc (non-player character) or in the crevasse we rolled and put on the 3/25 axis. don't understand? yeah, neither do i, but i get to build an awesome character, name her, give her a history, clothe her and buy her weapons. it's the little things.

i took a half day and went to the gluten free bakery in evanston. sensing a food theme here. then drove back to catch the 4:10 of the new miley cyrus movie. no need to adjust your screens, you read that right. i have developed an odd love/hate fascination with ms. cyrus. i want her voice to be less whiny and her clothes to be more existent and for her mother to tell her to stop showing her bra to the entire world. i also want her to stop straddling that virgin/whore line that all teen music sensations are eventually asked to do. the whole family is supposed to be super christian and what not, and i'm not saying that means she doesn't get to wear short skirts and tank tops, but there is a taste level here. in addition, is there anyone out there that believes she isn't hittin it with that amazing australian co-star she is now "going steady" with. i mean come on. just be honest with kids and the public in general and then when people fall, they won't fall so hard. brittany anyone?

anyway, i was the oldest person there by at least 15 years and tried to cower in the back where no one would see me. but you know at what point should i have no shame? i've enjoyed a nicholas sparks movie before. fuck, i OWN the notebook. and again the liam hemsworth dude is, wow, 20, but well, go see the movie, then you might not think i'm so creepy. also, not for nothing, but it was filmed in georgia and the ocean plays a huge part in this overwrought and predictable drama. and i miss the ocean and by the way it was filmed you felt the water and sand and sun and in combination with the beautiful weather we were having in chicago yesterday i swear i came out of the theater with a sunburn or at least crunchy hair from the salt water and sun. birthday delusional disorder strikes again.

after the movie, which i attended alone as per birthday tradition, a small group of us met up to play whirlyball or as it should be called DANGERBALL. if you've never heard of it, please click the blog title which will link you to the site, grab 9 of your closest friends or enemies and go play. within the first five minutes, mike chucked a ball in amanda's direction and her glasses cut into the side of her nose, the part by the eye, and she started gushing deep red blood. okay well she wasn't gushing, but it was definitely dripping. at first no one noticed and then i heard amanda say my name above rodney's screams to tuesday about getting the ball back and jessica weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeing around and stephanie looking practically petrified that someone was going to take off a precious arm that she needs to edit people!! it is pure chaos and i love every minute of it. anyway amanda is such a trooper and tried to pull it off like it was no biggie until i was like "stop the game we've got a gusher!" devin, mom to us all, pulled a band aid out from some magical pocket and amanda and i ran to the bathroom to stitch the would. okay it wasn't that bad but she was sure she is going to have a black eye. i told her she should tell people she got him back good! we soon joined the game again and enjoyed an hour of pure maniacal magnetic craziness. i turn into a whirlyball psycho and several of my friends told me they were scared of me, but what the hell do i care. i'm 30 now. i may just become my whirlyball persona in real life. no fear. no brakes, just a stick and a thirst for revenge.

we finished the night with drinks on jess and rodney's porch where danielle, mike, dev, steph and nichole sang a stirring rendition of some birthday song with my name in it. no not THAT song. i hear the rights cost too much for that one. someone told me it was michael jackson, but i'm not sure. amanda and i then walked back to my place and called sam to catch up with her about the date she was supposed to have. but that stupid jerk thought it was okay to cancel plans with one of my favorite ladies like an hour after they were supposed to start hanging out on a night HE planned. as she would say that shit is weaksauce and i told her that enough is enough. no more ms. nice sam. as for you hot t, you better not run into amanda and i in any alleys because she'll cut a bitch and i can wield a hi-li stick with the best of them!

so overall my birthday had everything i could want and ended with a weird dream where i got pulled over for driving on a sidewalk when i had been drinking and then someone at some bar called me average. i woke up in a cold sweat and in a panic from the fear of being arrested. after realizing that it was just a dream i still felt strange. and then i realized that i was really upset because the dream person called me average, i was, in fact, super offended in the dream. and then i thought what if that dream person talking to me was me.